My Neighbor's Faith: Marriage and Family in the Mormon Faith (LDS Temple in DC)

Visitor's Center in Salt Lake

Several years ago, the Army sent me to Salt Lake City for training.  While there, I visited a Mormon ward that some of my relatives attend.  I also happened to stop by the Tabernacle and the Temple Visitor's Center.  It was beautiful and they had lots of historical artifacts pertaining to the faith.

My visits left no doubt in my mind that the Mormons strongly value family.  At almost every encounter someone would ask me, "Don't you want to live with your family forever?"  They seemed to think that this was an innate human desire.  One could see in all places that the Mormons marry young and that they're encouraged to have big families.  Even at the restaurants in Salt Lake, the tables are elongated to fit larger than average sized families.

LDS Temple in DC

Visitor's Center in DC

When I walked into the visitor's center, I was introduced two two sisters who showed me around and answered my questions.  One of the things they were proud to show me was a 3D printed model of the inside of a Mormon Temple.  Presently, there are only two of these models in the world, one in DC and the other in Salt Lake City.

The sisters explained several of the rooms in the temple.  They focused on the rooms for marriage ceremonies.  The Latter Day Saints temple marriage ceremonies seal a marriage for eternity.  They believe that if you marry in the temple, that you and your partner will be partners eternally.  You can do this with your children as well, and then you and your whole family will be together eternally.

3D Printed model of LDS Temple

The first thing that occurred to me when I heard this was, "Okay, but what if you decide at 40 that you don't want to live with this spouse for eternity?  What if a lifetime is long enough?  What if you divorce?"  I asked whether the Latter Day Saints encourage their young to put off temple marriage until they're certain that they've married the right person.  "We usually perform the wedding in the temple."  The first wedding is usually the temple wedding with state papers signed afterward.  This struck me as odd, especially since the Mormons tend to marry so young.  I wonder how they rate their marriages in surveys when compared to other groups.  I haven't bothered to look this up.

The reason Latter Day Saints value family so much, even in the afterlife, has to do with their view of God.  As mentioned in a previous post, they believe that God was once a man like us.  He is still a man today.  At some point during our discussion my jaw dropped.  "Wait a minute," I said.  "You believe that God has a wife!" I was excited to have figured this out for myself.  "We do," I was told.  "It's not something we like to talk about.  God loves his wife so much and doesn't want people taking her name in vane or treating her rudely."

The Book of Mormon: the Primary LDS revelation

Whatever one thinks of this, it coheres theologically with the rest of LDS beliefs.  God wants them to have sealed families just like He did.  He also wants them to be fruitful and multiply, just like He did.  This is what beings made in the Image of God are supposed to do.  And like Him, if they do things right, they mature to be like Him.

As I thought about their theology, I couldn't help but wonder what life is like in the typical Mormon home.  How are their families better off compared with non-Mormon families?  How are they worse off?  I expect that with bigger families, there's a better ability to create intra-family self-reliance.  This might explain the libertarian streak among Latter Day Saints.  As the same time, there has to be a lot of pressure on women to have children.  What about the women who don't want to be mothers?  What about the women who aren't able?

The Problem with Failed Seals

The other thing I noticed was this.  Sealing your family members is supposed to mean that you are together forever.  However, if your family members fall away from the faith or are less than decent Mormons, they may find themselves on a different level of heaven than the rest of the family.  This seemed contradictory to me.  After all, if you're on the same level of heaven then you're already together and sealing should be irrelevant.  On the other hand, if different levels of heaven can divide families then the seal isn't very effective. I write this less as a criticism than in hopes that someone can clear it up for me.  Any LDS folks out there reading this?  Feel free to chime in.

Even if it can't be cleared up.  I don't see this as a reason for serious criticism.  Most beliefs are coherent until one starts applying questions from the outside.