How I became a Humanist #1: Jesus Freaks in the Churches of Christ

Much of early moral development can be framed by two seemingly non-contradictory value systems.  I was (1) raised by Jesus Freaks (2) in the Churches of Christ.  When I was young, it seemed to me that the moral lessons taught at home were the same as those taught in the church.  It wasn't until I left Christianity that I realized the moral tensions between the two environments and how that tension ultimately led to me ditching Christianity as I was familiar with it.

Roseville Church of Christ Pulpit, Lord's Supper Table and Baptistry (notice the lack of a piano).

My family went to church at  the Roseville Church of Christ at least three times a week, Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings and Wednesday nights.  If the Church had an activity that the family was able to participate in, we participated in it, whether it was a youth camp, Vacation Bible School or charity related event.  At home, we prayed before every meal, and were encouraged to read the Bible on our own.  From age 8, I did.

At church we learned typical moral lessons, don't cheat or steal,
etc.  But we were also taught that members of the Churches of Christ were probably the only people going to heaven.  The reason for us believing this was because the other churches were full of doctrinal errors.  They worshiped incorrectly.  They believed the wrong things.  And their churches were organized improperly.  While I never heard anyone say it overtly, the message delivered was that performing rituals like baptism and communion properly was more important to God than whether or not we were racists or spouse abusers.  In any case, it was adherence to the rituals and beliefs that made us Christians, even if the behaviors were considered important.

At home, on the other hand, I was taught to love all people.  My mom and grandparents both took in foster children with a wide variety of needs.  They took in kids of every race, too.  My grandparents visited the sick, and often gave more than they could afford to help those in need.  What's more, they didn't hate anyone.  We never made jokes about race, hair color or ethnicity.  We didn't even make fun of gays.  I didn't grow up with sexism either.  Additionally, my family put high stock in education and critical thinking.  My mom rarely said, "because I said so," for the things I was supposed to believe.  I was not instructed not to ask why, the way that many children are.  At home, compassion and reason were central to morality over anything else.

When I was young, the two moralities were intertwined in my mind.  I assumed that everyone at church believed the same things about loving one's neighbor and asking questions as I did.  I also assumed that my family believed the same things about God's priorities.  It didn't seem to me that the two value systems were in conflict.  During my teenage years, friction developed.  More on that later.